Home » October, 2009 Entries posted on “October, 2009”

Arizona parents to let Miley Cyrus raise their kids

Arizona parents to let Miley Cyrus raise their kids

Two families in Scottsdale, Arizona have decided to give up parenting and let former Disney star Miley Cyrus raise their kids.
In a joint statement from each family’s attorney, The Esparaza and Lemonson family will reportedly have 16-year-old Cyrus raise their children starting in January. According to the agreement, Cyrus will “raise the kids via a [...]

October 31 2009 | Posted in Celebrity Garbage, Club Satirical | Read More »

Tinker Bell And The Lost Treasure – Blu-ray Review

Tinker Bell And The Lost Treasure – Blu-ray Review

I’ll watch essentially anything The Mouse House churns out, within reason. Most of their live-action catalogue can be done without, but at the end of the day the Disney is that childhood friend you ultimately can’t turn your back to. I’ll even suffer through some Disney Channel schlock because my old friend and I go [...]

October 30 2009 | Posted in DVD & Blu-ray | Read More »

Busted: Actor Robert Pattinson caught drinking coffee

Busted: Actor Robert Pattinson caught drinking coffee

Twilight star Robert Pattinson has been spotted drinking a coffee from a Dunkin’ Donuts dealer.
The actor, who is appearing in the upcoming Twilight sequel New Moon, is handling the cup of java like a person who is accustomed to drinking what insiders call “black gold.” Fans are worried that the actor and musician may have [...]

October 30 2009 | Posted in Celebrity Garbage, Club Satirical | Read More »

New ‘Nightmare on Elm Street’ to differ from original by being the same

New ‘Nightmare on Elm Street’ to differ from original by being the same

When the new A Nightmare on Elm Street hits theaters on April 30, 2010, audiences will see a wholly re-imagined horror film arrive in theaters. Based on the original 1984 film by the same name, A Nightmare on Elm Street will showcase a new story, a new cast and most of all, a new villain.
“We [...]

October 30 2009 | Posted in Club Satirical, Entertainment News | Read More »

Skeleton Cabbie talks ‘Ghostbusters 3′: “I haven’t seen a script”

Skeleton Cabbie talks ‘Ghostbusters 3′: “I haven’t seen a script”

Despite what some members of the Ghostbusters 3 production crew may tell you, not everyone has been invited back to the highly anticipated project.
“Nobody has called me. It’s not like I’ve been hard to find either,” said Skeleton Cabbie. “I’ve reached out to Ivan [Reitman] and I even left a voicemail for Harold [Ramis] but [...]

October 30 2009 | Posted in Club Satirical, Entertainment News | Read More »

Anthony Hopkins to play Odin in ‘Thor’

Anthony Hopkins to play Odin in ‘Thor’

Oscar-winning actor Anthony Hopkins has reportedly joined the cast of Marvel Studio’s upcoming feature Thor.
Hopkins will play the Norse god Odin, Thor’s pappy and reigning king of Asgard.
Thor’s cast is looking pretty good with Chris Hemsworth, Tom Hiddelston and Natalie Portman already on board. The film will be directed by Kenneth Branagh and production is [...]

October 30 2009 | Posted in Entertainment News | Read More »

‘Men in Black 3′ moves forward with script

‘Men in Black 3′ moves forward with script

Sony Pictures has tapped Tropic Thunder scribe Etan Cohen to pen the script for the third installment of Men in Black.
Cohen is midway through the first draft of the film. No word on any possible plot points but the script is believed to include aliens, cool gadgets and smart-looking suits with somebody getting slimmed.
Director of [...]

October 30 2009 | Posted in Entertainment News | Read More »

Desperate for cash, ‘Cool World’ star Holli Would to pose nude

Desperate for cash, ‘Cool World’ star Holli Would to pose nude

Hot on the heels of Marge Simpson posing for Playboy comes word that another animated star will pose in the buff: Holli Would.
Starring opposite Brad Pitt in the 1992 film Cool World, Holli became and instant phenomenon with plush dolls, motor oil, trading cards and a line of plastic BBQ equipment.
Holli Would will appear in [...]

October 30 2009 | Posted in Celebrity Garbage, Club Satirical | Read More »

Film critics to moviegoers: “We’ll start seeing things your way”

Film critics to moviegoers: “We’ll start seeing things your way”

Under pressure from “average moviegoers,” film critics will now reflect the tastes of the box office in their reviews.
“For far too long we’ve provided commentary on film using our perspective and knowledge of cinema,” says Nathanial Monroe, the film critic for The Friendly Forecaster in Beachwave, Michigan. “Those days have come to an end. I’ll [...]

October 29 2009 | Posted in Club Satirical, Editorials, Entertainment News | Read More »

Shock: Songwriters for Miley Cyrus found imprisoned in former CIA prison

Shock: Songwriters for Miley Cyrus found imprisoned in former CIA prison

According to U.S. Department of Entertainment secretary Angela Ustain, 16 of Miley Cyrus’ songwriters were found chained to a rusty pipe in a dilapidated building in eastern Poland.
Without food for four months, all of the songwriters are reportedly in stable condition in Bethesda, Maryland.
“We’ve never seen such horrible conditions,” said Department co-deputy Vanessa Henderson. “I’ve [...]

October 29 2009 | Posted in Celebrity Garbage, Club Satirical | Read More »

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