In the coming ages, books will be written about my epic struggles against The Twilight Saga. Generations upon generations will pass down that Stephenie Meyer and her mighty, flying, fire-breathing dragon powers tried to destroy women across the globe, but it was I who was able to destroy her with my witty one-liners and and a quick swing from the Sword of Justice. Unfortunately, like Galactus, Stephenie Meyer can’t be killed by weapons, so the Sword of Justice just wounds her enough to make her run away. Even so, she continues to come back, now seemingly every six months. As we speak, scientists are working on ways to improve the Sword of Justice so she doesn’t have to return ever again.

Statues will be built of these epic battles, children will want to dress up in a black t-shirt and jeans, shave their heads to be me, while others will no doubt attempt to dress as Meyer’s dragon form at future ComiCon’s or whatever that ends up becoming in the year 2310. In fact, a 5D film will be made called Clash of the Meyer with Sam Worthington VI will play me, as I save various women from the evil dragon’s evil. My legend will far go on these simple words that introduce the Eclipse trailer below:

In the words of the People’s Champ, The Rock; “This pile, of monkey crap opens June 30, 2010.”

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