Twilight shock: Head of Team Edward switches to Team Jacob

In a statement issued by Team Edward this past week, Jennifer Tunney, the longtime president of the pro-Edward Cullen movement, has changed her Twilight affiliation to Team Jacob for reasons that “you should know. If you don’t know, then I’m not going to tell you.”

Tunney was elected the head of Team Edward in 2008 after the release of Summit Entertainment’s Twilight arrived in theaters. For 13-year-old Tunney, it was a dream come true. Shortly after the vote, Tunney updated her Facebook status with “im so excited i love you Edwad! [sic]” As president, Tunney was tasked with leading the organization into the next decade through the spread of Edward awareness and commenting on any online Twilight story that mentioned the hunky vampire.

Here are a few comments left during her tenure:

“OMG i love you Edward! I hope your real”

“Edward, you are the best and so in love in with Bella. I wish I was bella and you’d love me back or something with roses and love in the middle”

“Edward! If you read this don’t feel bad. I love you and only want the best for you don’t listen to bella. bitch!”

“Team Edward will never die. When im a old lady i will still have edward carved into my foot and have bells is a bitch on my head”

“Edward please write me back i love you and your skin”

Tunney’s infatuation with Cullen led to an awkward encounter with Robert Pattinson, who plays Cullen in Twilight and it’s follow-up New Moon. Pattinson was walking back to his hotel when Tunney tried to throw her feces on the star in an effort to “get Edward to notice” her. Instead, her excrement landed on a nearby hotel security officer.

When Tunney’s parents came to pick up the distraught teen from police, they were quick to apologize to both Pattinson and the officer. “We are so sorry Jennifer did this,” said Robert Tunney. “She’s usually a good kid.”

This wasn’t the first time controversy found Tunney. Through her Facebook account, Tunney dropped a bombshell: “I just read New Moon for the 1st time. Love it.” As word quickly spread that the head of Team Edward hadn’t read New Moon until after the release of the big-screen adaptation of Twilight, many called for her resignation or worse. Her life.

Here is a sampling of the replies in her status in Facebook:

“You should kill youself!”

“I wish you were dead”

“If Edward knew about this, he would kill you and I would let him even though i love him”

“Your the worst person Edward ever created”

Tunney stayed in seclusion for months until after New Moon entered theaters in November of 2009. After witnessing what she called, “the awakening of my soul,” the president of Team Edward switched to Team Jacob, in a shocking move that has rattled the entire Twilight fan-base.

“It serves both teams right. They are so weird,” says Dana Erickson, the president of Team Bella. “We love Bella, not Edward or Jacob because Bella is so hot especially in her plaid and boots.”

Team Jacob spokeswoman, Tanya DeVries, said that the organization was thrilled to have Tunney’s experience and leadership in the group. “She’s an inspiration. We’ve been friends in Facebook forever and she sent me a Wiggle Wonk Emu. She’s so sweet. She asked if she could join the group and I just threw up on myself, I was so excited.”

While DeVries expressed optimism over the conversion, others were skeptical, including Team Jacob’s own president, Julianna Milfred. “I guess I’m cool with it,” she said. “If she wants my job, she will have to stab a goat or something. She can’t just walk in and be all ‘I’m with Team Jacob now, so you know…’ whatever. I mean, I guess it’s alright. I’m like, so over this drama with her. The gross poop thing was really over-the top.”

She added: “Jacob loves pee. That’s how Taylor Swift started dating him.”

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