Under pressure, CW producers to change theme of ‘Gossip Girl’
‘Gossip Girl’ to change its name to ‘Modest Gal’
In response to the recent statement issued by the Parents Television Council, producers of the CW’s hit drama Gossip Girl will make changes to the show’s storyline, advertisements and characters in order to create wholesome entertainment for the country’s parent-less children.
“We really don’t have a choice. We feel compelled to do this for the impressionable kids out there with no parents or guardians,” said CW spokesperson Michelle Garrett. “Thanks to the PTC’s statement, we, along with the show’s advertisers, feel like the appropriate thing to do will be to completely overhaul the show so teens aren’t turned into sexual deviants.”
Last week, the Parents Television Council asked CW affiliates to preempt an upcoming episode of Gossip Girl in which a threesome between the show’s main characters has been teased. Promos for the show identify the act occurring between unidentified characters in an episode entitled 3SOME. The episode is scheduled for November 9th.
Gossip Girl producers have enlisted the help of the Mormon Makeover Gang to help ease the transition. The MMG have also worked on such shows as Crack-whore the Boar, Slutty Mrs. Featherston and Yeb Vas, the Russian version of Sesame Street. “We are very happy to have the Mormons here to make sure we follow wholesome family-friendly guidelines,” said Garrett. When asked what the guidelines were, Garrett shrugged and said “there’s probably a lot.”
In February, Gossip Girl will change its name to Modest Gal and will feature an entirely new cast. “The old cast is a dirty group of fornicators. In our first episode, the entire cast will visit San Francisco where they will all catch random STDs and quickly die, just like in real life,” says MMG head Langdon Deemle. “I’m pretty sure Joseph Smith wrote something about that. Did you know he’s a prophet?”
The first episode of Modest Gal will feature the new cast riding bicycles and traveling around town passing out Latter-day Saint literature. They will also be routinely pestering people in their homes. “We’re going to tackle the big issues like chewing gum, drinking coffee and the evils of dancing. We’re pretty hip. Gone are the days where all we talked about were secret ceremonies and baptizing dead people…actually we never talked about that, forget I mentioned it.”
Michelle Garrett added that her preliminary discussions with MMG were productive and not nearly as strange as she thought it would be. “Once you get over the blank stares, they’re actually pretty cool.” When asked if the CW could have just simply decreased the overt sexual nature of the show instead of a complete overhaul, Garrett sighed. “We had to make the changes. It’s not like we can expect parents to monitor what their kids are watching in their own home.”
