‘Spider-man 4′ villain announced: President Obama
Barack Obama to fight Spidey in ‘Spider-man 4′
According to my mailman, the next enemy for your friendly neighborhood Spider-man will be none other than President Barack Omaba.Negating reports that The Lizard or Carnage will appear as Spider-man 4’s official baddie, my postal carrier insists that the44th president of the United States will “get his commie ass kicked.”
“From what I hear, Spider-man is going to fight Obama. You know Spidey is a real American, right? He’s trying to stop socialized medicine where it lives: the White House,” says the Colorado Springs-area postal carrier. “Yeah, Obama is trying to give all these people healthcare and Spider-man gets all pissed off and stuff. I mean, really [expletive] angry and [expletive], right? Well he flies into the U.S. Senate and kills all the Democrats.”
When informed that Spider-man does not fly, but instead uses a device on his wrists that shoots webbing, the postal carrier replied that this method of transportation sounded “kinda’ queer.”
Sony-owned Columbia Pictures was quickly asked about the story. “Total nonsense,” a spokeswoman for the studio stated. “Spider-man will not fight President Obama. After all, Peter Parker is a longtime resident of New York City. He’s a registered Democrat. We highly doubt Spider-man would be against a public option in healthcare.”
“That’s some straight-up [expletive]! Spider-man is a conservative and a Glenn Beck fan,” said my postal carrier when he learned of Columbia’s statement. “I already saw the movie. Spider-man kicks his bald ass and flies around with an American flag. He’s a hero. A hero for real Americans. He even fought some blond queer on the moon.”
Spider-man 4 will be directed by Sam Raimi with Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst expected to return to their original roles. The film is slated for a May, 2011 release.
