Review: ‘Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull’
Review: ‘Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull’
3 stars out of 5
Let’s get something clear. If you don’t like Indiana Jones, you really should have your “movie fan” badge ripped off your chest and stomped on repeatedly. A phone call to Homeland Security would also be in order. The Indiana Jones series is one of the most beloved in movie history and for good reason. Adventurous, riddled with cheese, hearts being plucked out of people and rolling boulders, holy crap. To millions of movie fans worldwide, fun is spelled I-N-D-Y. But you may be asking yourself, “Sure. Indiana Jones rules but Crystal Skull? C’mon, like Star Wars, this franchise should stay dead and worshiped.” If that’s your view, my friend, then prepare for the resurrection. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is a blast. Pure and simple. Without pretension and unashamed for what it is: A Paramount Park theme ride with an awkward alien theme…and pinkos. Holy crap.
Written by George Lucas and directed by Steven Spielberg, Crystal Skull is not perfect nor does it approach the obscene likability of the other films in the series, but it does manage to engage the viewer throughout the movie with only a few lulls (like the ending). Many comparisons have been made to the latest Indy adventure to that of National Treasure. I can see the similarities; who couldn’t? Hidden treasures, globe-trotting, bad jokes can be found in both movies. But where it differs is its amusing action and good-natured banter. Sword-fighting on the back of speeding jeeps in the jungle, people getting pulled into anthills by giant red ants and, of course, inane bickering during life-threatening situations. (See The Mummy for further details). Indiana Jones was the modern originator of charming dialogue with over-the-top action and helped set the scene for the aforementioned Mummy series, National Treasure and a whole host of other rip-offs to fill the void left after the series ended its initial run.
Updates have been made to the Indy mythos. It’s 1957, 19 years since Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. The movie opens up to Henry Jones III (Harrison Ford) and sidekick Mac McHale (Ray Winstone) released out of a car trunk by a group of Russian soldiers at Area 51. Forced to reveal a highly magnetized crate with a wrapped alien inside, the Russians are hell-bent on finding an elongated crystal skull believed to be that of a deity worshiped in ancient times. (You can see where this is heading.) Indy escapes, avoids being eradicated by a nuclear bomb test, only to be under suspicion by the FBI. Smack-dab at the height of the Red Scare, Indy is removed from his teaching position at Barnett College (which was the norm for many college professors during this time). While on-board a train, en route to the destination, a young leather-clad greaser named “Mutt” Williams (Shia LaBeouf) drags Indy to lunch to discuss a note left by his caretaker, a nutty professor of archeology: Harold Oxley (John Hurt). With talk about that crystal skull again and the golden city of Eldorado, Mutt and Indy head out for the sweaty jungles of South America where they are quickly captured by Russian soldiers, led by the sword-wielding Col. Dr. Irina Spalko (Cate Blanchett). Held captive, Indy learns that Harold is also being held in the camp and that his brain has been fried by the freakish crystal skull. Unable to communicate the location of the temple where the skull must be laid in order to use its full powers, Indy is forced to perform a mind-meld with the artifact in order to get the secret location from Oxley. Also captured is Mutt’s mother, (and fan favorite), Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen)! The reunion is short-lived as both the Russians and Indy and company, race to the temple to unlock the secrets of the skull and find out what all this business about aliens is.
While the aliens plot is a bit absurd, even for Indiana Jones, it’s not a deal breaker for the film. (Shia LaBeouf swinging in trees like Tarzan could be…) Also, an odd feeling happened on the way out of the theater: the acknowledgment that some things in life aren’t quite as cool when you grow up. Case in point: Star Wars second trilogy, original Knight Rider, The A-Team, Super Friends, and Charles in Charge. A certain magic is lost when you look back at the things you loved (Nicole Eggert). Perhaps you realize that those things were obscenely cheesy, or worse, sucked (Garfield). While Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull doesn’t fully capture the magic of the series, it’s a welcome return to memory lane…with a side of cheese.
